Casual

you call that thing casual.
but is it really? actually?
be honest with me.
don’t you feel that it’s gradually
growing beyond sexual?

cos that first thought you had in the morning…
wasn’t it her scent on your bedding?
wasn’t it the image of her, smiling?
weren’t you wondering about the things she wasn’t saying?
and didn’t you check your phone, wishing…

she would just text you
she’d ignore all the taboo
cos she was falling into
deep feelings she can’t undo?
and you so wished that was true

cos that’d mean you’re not alone
all that chemistry wasn’t just hormones
casual my ass, this is full blown
capital L-word zone.
and yes, yes, i hear you groan.

still insisting it was all casual
the understanding’s mutual
getting together is irrational.
but God, how much she makes you primal.
and yet you stay in denial.

just think about it. you love her wit,
her body’s the perfect fit,
she knows how to submit,
your thoughts, your jokes, she gets it.
if only she can commit…

right?

and you can tell me to shut
and shove it up my butt
cos these questions are getting nuts.
but i bet you can feel it in your gut
that this is not that clear-cut.

so… still insisting it was all casual?
consensually temporal?
then let me put you on trial.
if this is all just purely sexual
why does being with her feel so visceral?

curtain call

i swear to god, i was born a rebel
i’m one to kiss and immediately tell
ran around putting people under a spell
dove head first into the depths of hell

find me, look at me, witness me
my ups and downs, me losing sanity
me tearing my own hair out
me crushing my own heart

yeah yeah it’s all me all along
the villain and the victim
the singer and the song
chasing and chased by wisdom

enjoy all this theatrical performance
the rise and fall of me, no false pretenses
i’ll still ask for one more dance
collect bruises from consequences

but of all things, remember this
by the time i bid you farewell
i’m done exploring the abyss
all’s well that ends well

Slippery Slope

thought he’s kinda full of himself
but i wanna be full of him
it’s just sex, there’s no depth
no need to go out on a limb

all i wanted was a simple good fuck
but he pinned me down and got me stuck
all i wanted was his penis
but he started talking about happiness

fuck is that? caught me off guard
i didn’t audition for this part
thought jumping on his bones was enough
but now i’m jumping into love

“The One”

i’m sort of seeing someone
but we’re keeping it casual
keeping it strictly just for fun
strictly sexual

but we’re 99% sure i’m not The One
not because we’re incompatible
there are just things that can’t be done
and that’s totally understandable

but the way i feel when i’m with him
every second’s a borrowed heaven
selfishly claiming possession of his skin
mild obsession hidden in discretion

i kissed his lips as if they’re mine
and left scratches along his spine
grabbed his hair, pulled him into me
surrendered myself to intensity

but when all is said and done
in the end i’m still not The One.
not someone foreverable
just
fuckable.